


Child of Shadows

by frostmrajick



Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, Mention of abuse, maybe slight crack?, mention of panic attack and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9300953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostmrajick/pseuds/frostmrajick
Summary: The digital world has been closed for three years.So the last thing he expects is to go there again.Ryo is pulled back to the digital world, where he meets an old foe. Things...don't go as expected.(Rated Teen for mentions of abuse)





	

The digital world has been closed for three years.  
So the last thing he expects is to go there again.  
He had just gotten into a fight with his dad...again. A bruise is blooming on his face from the hit he had received. He had missed a few questions on his entrance exam, and anything less than perfect is unacceptable. It’s been awhile since his father hit him, though--it was overdue, ready to come out at the slightest provocation.  
He sighs. There will probably be more when he gets back. You didn’t walk out on Takao Akiyama and not expect repercussions.  
His hands start to shake and his chest tightens at the thought of going back. He stops and closes his eyes and breathes. Do not, he tells himself sternly. He remembers the ten months in the digital world. Ten months without a panic attack, ten months to heal completely free of bruises and blood without incurring new ones. That should not be such an accomplishment.  
It’s gotten colder.  
He opens his eyes and realizes there is a mist coming in. Strange. He didn’t remember the weather calling for anything like this.  
He hears a voice, and he doesn’t believe his ears. It’s just because he was thinking of the digital world, he tells himself. It’s not real.  
His mouth murmurs, “Monodramon…?”  
“Ryo!”  
All thoughts of panic are banished as a figure barrels into him in a huge. He laughs. “Monodramon! How is this possible?”  
The mists are fading now, and he gets a good look around. This is obviously going to be a roller coaster day, he thinks as his heart plummets again. His dad, seeing Monodramon again after three years, and now this.  
Because they are standing outside Millenniummon’s castle.  
How did they even get here? He had always had an easier time getting to the digital world than any of the others. Even in the current universe, he had been able to be pulled in by little more than a wish, while the others had to find a digital gate and fall through it. He has a suspicion of why this is, and he’s not pleased with the apparent confirmation.  
“Why are we here?” he asks Monodramon. He looks at the small digimon, who is looking up at him anxiously.  
“I’m sorry, Ryo,” he says. “After we came back here, after the D-Reaper--I d-don’t know w-why...the jogress fell ap-part. I’m sorry.”  
Ryo’s breath catches. So much for avoiding that panic attack, he thinks. Monodramon’s jogress had been the only thing keeping the evil god under control. If it fell apart, that meant he was free to try to destroy the digital world again.  
“Wait, you said that happened after the D-Reaper was destroyed? But that was three years ago….” Why had he waited so long to act?  
He looks up at the castle. “I guess...here we go again.”  
Monodramon grabs his hand, and he realizes that it’s shaking. “You’re okay, Ryo,” he says softly. “We’ve done it before. We can do it again. This time will be the last. It has to be.”  
Ryo swallows and nods. “Okay. Let’s go.”  
This time is different, though. The castle is in ruins, as though they have come after the battle, not just in time for it. There are no digimon guarding the way, blocking his path. He has received no explanation, no summons, no direction. What is going on?  
His body is tense as they walk, ready for anything to happen. As they get to the heart of the castle, his mind keeps thinking that any moment now, it will start. All over again.  
They get into the heart of the castle, and he sees the shadowy form, and he falls apart.  
Can’t do it not again stop can’t can’t can’t  
He distantly hears Monodramon talking to him and he knows he needs to get a grip on himself, needs to push past the panic and deal with it like he’s done before. Why is his body doing this? Is it because he had thought it was over for good last time? Because this is coming so soon after the fight with his dad, and the panic was already there, waiting? Stop it, stop it, he commands, but like that’s ever done any good before.  
“Ryo, look,” Monodramon tells him.  
He can’t. He can’t see anything, can’t process it.  
“Ryo!” Monodramon shakes his hand, and that’s different, too, usually Monodramon is the calming one, the one to talk him down.  
But it’s apparently what he needs right now, because his vision clears, and the panic eases just enough to take the edge off.  
That familiar form has not moved.  
Come to think of it, this is Millenniummon. Not his other forms, but the first one he ever fought. He frowns, and slowly takes a step forward. Is it even real?  
Monodramon hangs back, though. “I’m not sure about this, Ryo,” he says.  
Ryo looks at him. “Weren’t you just telling me to calm down?” he points out.  
“Well, yeah. But...something’s not right about this…”  
Ryo can’t stop himself, though. Like the pull that brings him to the digital world, he is drawn to the shadows. Monodramon follows him reluctantly.  
The world flips on him, and he passes out.  
He’s not sure if he’s awake or dreaming. Everything is black around him, an endless empty space. He sees nothing, feels nothing.  
Where am I? he thinks.  
Hello, Ryo.  
He must have a body, because the voice in his head makes his heart skip a beat. Yet, oddly, it doesn’t race in panic.  
Millenniummon.  
Yes.  
What is this place? Another one of your games?  
A soft, sad chuckle. Hardly.  
Ryo looks around frantically for the source of the voice, but all he sees is black upon black. Explain what’s going on right now, Millenniummon--  
Or what? You’ll destroy me? By all means, please do.  
Ryo is surprised at that reaction. What?  
I am tired, Ryo. I long for an end.  
You’re tired? Ryo is incredulous. You’re the one that keeps trying to destroy the digital world. You’re the one that keeps making me come to fight you, just to try and--  
To try and bring you to me! Because that is all that I ever wanted. My partner by my side, like anyone else’s. Is that so wrong?  
When you’re hurting others? Uh, yeah.  
There is a long silence. I had it, for a brief moment, the voice says pensively. When I was jogressed to your other partner. You didn’t hate me then. That was...nice.  
Ryo stops in shock. And because he is thinking of that time, as well. It was difficult, and, he admits, scary at first. He had to be constantly on his toes, knowing that his digimon could turn on him at any time, that his enemy could escape and the digital world would be in jeopardy again. He had to be ever vigilant and careful, on guard (on duty) twenty-four-seven.  
But then it had become second nature, and he would sometimes forget. He had fun. It was an adventure, and he was free. He remembers the first time they battled side-by-side, and he looked up at the digimon towering over him, and feeling protected, for the first time ever. He remembers singing, and the teasing playfulness it inspired. He remembers the fear of bio-merging, only to find in it a sense of completeness he never knew he’d been missing.  
Do you think your time with Monodramon...changed you? he asks slowly.  
A sigh. Likely. It’s frustrating. Being with you, both...and then losing it...I’m ready to be finished. If you wish to end it, then do so, because it would be better than the alternative.  
Three years, Ryo thinks. It’s been three years that he’s been out, and he’s done nothing but wallow here.  
Does he dare believe that he’s changed? He’s tried to take over the digital world four times, after all, only stopping when he was locked away with Monodramon. Can he even be trusted?  
Prove it, Ryo thinks challengingly.  
You do not want--  
Prove it!  
He feels the darkness enter him, and he can’t breathe. It’s like a bio-mergence, but different. A bio-mergence with Millenniummon alone? The idea should frighten him, but it doesn’t. There’s a comfort to the dark that he could get lost in. He leans into it--  
And then it is gone, and it leaves a hole in him so vast it feels like it will never be filled.  
That is what I feel. Can you blame me for doing whatever it took to bring you back?  
It doesn’t matter, Ryo responds, but he’s having trouble thinking. And it doesn’t prove that you’re different.  
You hate me, Millenniummon says with tired simplicity. And after our time together, what I felt in you...I do not blame you. I know that that will never change. So the only other alternative is oblivion. I’m too tired to fight anymore, Ryo. I don’t know how else to prove it.  
The thing is, he doesn’t have to. As much as he hates to admit it, Millenniummon was right, they are linked. He can feel the aching longing inside as though it were his own--and maybe it is. They are partners, and all that that means.  
He suddenly remembers an episode of the digimon tv show, which he alone in this universe knows the truth of. The digimon were created for their partners, taking pieces of their humans to create them. If this is the case with them...what does that mean?  
Maybe...that there’s a chance?  
Or no chance, as the case may be.  
Maybe...I need to go back to the real world. I can’t stay here. But...I can’t...would it be possible...that you could come, too?  
A disbelieving pause. What are you saying?  
You made clones before, Ryo thinks quickly, trying to get the idea out before he can second-guess it. Make one for yourself, to give you a body. And then, being human, you can come back with me. And we…  
Can be together.  
That...might work. But, Ryo, are you sure?  
Is he? Does he really want to do this? He follows the thoughts all the way through, examining the results. A human would be less problematic, for a start. And if they do it right, why couldn’t it work? Even the worst-case scenario is doable.  
He’s surprised that he can even consider this. When he first arrived, he was sent into a panic of memories. And now...everything’s different.  
He goes through his memories again, and realizes that he’s being selfish. He wants this for himself, to feel that sense of freedom and protection again. Truth is, he’s just as tired as Millenniummon is. Right or wrong, they need an end, and this is one.  
Yes. I’m sure. But some ground rules. When you make your clone, I know what you’re going to want, and it won’t work if you do an exact one. If people see two exact copies, it will be weird. You’ll have to do one younger--the age gap will make the similarities less noticeable. He conjures a mental image of what he means, and he’s certain that the digimon sees it.  
I can do that.  
Okay. Then, I guess...let’s do this.  
He wakes up and sees Monodramon standing over him worriedly. “W-what happened?” the digimon asks him.  
Ryo sits up. “I was...talking to Millenniummon.”  
“W-what?!”  
“I think it’s okay.” Ryo frowns. “When you were jogressed, especially towards the end, did he seem different to you?” It occurs to him that he probably should have asked his partner’s opinion before making plans with the evil god.  
“What do you m-mean?”  
“When we were talking, he said he was different. That his time with us had changed him. That he was done fighting, and just wanted to either be with us or be done.” He pauses, then admits, “I believed him.”  
“He’s tricky, Ryo. You know that--”  
“Yeah, I know, but, Monodramon, I had a panic attack when I saw him. But just now, talking to him, it was completely different. It was like when we were merged and I could feel everything, and it...it wasn’t bad.”  
Monodramon hesitates. “How do you know you can trust it?”  
Ryo sighs. “I don’t. Maybe I still won’t ever be able to. That’s why I’m asking you--what do you think?”  
Monodramon looks at the ground thoughtfully. “I don’t know,” he admits. “When we were Cyberdramon, I wanted to fight a lot. I was constantly looking to get stronger, to find an enemy to defeat.” He looks up at Ryo. “But after we became Justimon, it was different. I could still feel Millenniummon, but he was different. He only wanted to protect you, and then, he wanted to fight with you. He even kind of wanted to help. Just to help.” He nods decisively. “I don’t know how much he’s changed, if it’s enough, or if it’s permanent. But I do think he’s changed.”  
“Okay. Good. Because I kind of told him he could come back to the real world with me.”  
“Ryo!”  
“Hey, I did think about this. I told him to create a clone, but the clone has to be younger. He’ll be a human child. That should be safe, right?”  
Monodramon frowns in thought. “I...guess…”  
“And maybe by the time he--grows up, I guess, he’ll have learned, and it will be okay.”  
“I’m still not sure about this, Ryo,” Monodramon sighs. “But I trust you. If this is what you think is best.”  
“I have no idea if it is, but my instincts says it’s right, and I’ve learned to trust that.” There’s a long pause, then he sighs. “Well, I don’t know how to get back, so I guess we just have to wait for him. He brought me here, so I guess he can send me back?” He has a thought and starts to laugh hysterically. “My dad will be so pissed if I disappear again.”  
Monodramon moves to sit next to him and takes his left hand--Ryo realizes he was rubbing it, a nervous habit. He knows about Ryo’s dad. There had been a time or two when it had taken all of Ryo’s control to keep him from attacking the human. Even as Monodramon alone, without the jogress, he’s not sure the man would be safe around him.  
He’s not sure how long they wait. Ryo starts to sing to pass the time, and that makes Monodramon happy. They talk a little, catching up, Monodramon frowning at the newest bruise. After awhile, Ryo falls asleep. He wakes up, and they wander the castle--it’s a strange experience doing so without the stress of battling for their lives. They find a room filled with dark shadows, and Ryo feels sick, but he thinks he knows where they’ll be able to find Millenniummon when he’s done.  
He’s not sure how long they wait--perhaps two days, and he’s starting to wonder if he made a mistake. He sleeps again--  
And is startled awake by a strange feeling inside of him, a calling.  
“Ryo?”  
He looks over at Monodramon and realizes that he’s been sleepwalking. “I’m going to guess that Millenniummon’s done,” he says, in an attempt at lightheartedness that fails spectacularly.  
They return to the shadowy room, and Ryo waits for the sick feeling but it doesn’t come. He and Monodramon look at each other, and Ryo attempts a smile. They enter.  
The shadows are gone, and they can see the lab. On one table is a small child, about two years old, who looks up at their entrance. “Okay, Ryo?” he asks, tilting his head in question.  
Ryo smiles at him. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I, uh, I think that’ll be okay.”  
Now they just have to figure out how to get back to the real world. Ryo decides that the first place they should check is outside the castle, where they entered. There’s a sense of surrealness as he walks with one hand holding that of the small child that used to be an evil god and his enemy. There’s a shimmer in the air, but when they walk towards it, nothing happens.  
“Well, so much for that.” Ryo imagines another ten months stuck here. Although, he had only found his way back because of the other Tamers, and since he’s probably not going to get lucky and run into them or another group anytime soon, who knows how long they’ll be here.  
He thinks about what he thought earlier, being able to come to the digital world on a wish. He still thinks it’s just Millenniummon’s power calling him to return, but he might as well give it a try. It hadn’t worked last time, but then, he hadn’t really wanted to go back then.  
He hears a sound and looks over his shoulder to see a digi-gnome fly by. He blinks--he had thought they disappeared with the D-Reaper. Apparently he was wrong. So then, maybe…  
It begins to glow, and he feels strange. Millenniummon makes an unhappy sound, and he bends down to pick the child up. Monodramon slips a hand into his as the mists wrap around them.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to share this, because, well, it just seems like one of those things that only I would actually like. But I was rereading it, and I think the writing itself is actually pretty good. I actually have fifty pages of this, followed by about three hundred pages of spin-off, if it turns out anyone besides me actually does like it.  
> Extra note: I've seen the speculation here and there that Ryo's father is abusive. I don't really think so (not that we get a whole lot to go on either way), but it keeps nagging me and creating stories from it. I also have a headcanon that he has a lot of anxiety. I think it's solely based on his mutism in Brave Tamer, but it could also be just me projecting myself on a favorite character.  
> Also, I might as well say it--Ryo from the Wonderswan games is my slight obsession, so forgive me. If you think a story works better with another character taking the lead, let me know--I'm happy to step out of my own head and explore.


End file.
